Mardi: and A Voyage Thither, Vol. II Read online

  "Ah! how true!" cried the Warbler.

  "And what says the archangel Vavona, Yoomy, in that wonderful drama ofhis, 'The Souls of the Sages?'--'Beyond most barren hills, there arelandscapes ravishing; with but one eye to behold; which no pencil canportray.' What wonder then, my lord, that Mardi itself is so blind.'Mardi is a monster,' says old Bardianna, 'whose eyes are fixed in itshead, like a whale's; it can see but two ways, and those comprisingbut a small arc of a perfect vision. Poets, heroes, and men of might,are all around this monster Mardi. But stand before me on stilts, or Iwill behold you not, says the monster; brush back your hair; inhalethe wind largely; lucky are all men with dome-like foreheads; lucklessthose with pippin-heads; loud lungs are a blessing; a lion is no lionthat can not roar.' Says Aldina, 'There are those looking on, who knowthemselves to be swifter of foot than the racers, but are confoundedwith the simpletons that stare.'"

  "The mere carping of a disappointed cripple," cried Mold. Hisbiographer states, that Aldina had only one leg."

  "Braid-Beard, you are witty," said Babbbalanja, adjusting his robe."My lord, there are heroes without armies, who hear martial music intheir souls."

  "Why not blow their trumpets louder, then," cried Media, that allMardi may hear?"

  "My lord Media, too, is witty, Babbalanja," said Mohi.

  Breathed Yoomy, "There are birds of divinest plumage, and mostglorious song, yet singing their lyrics to themselves."

  Said Media, "The lark soars high, cares for no auditor, yet its sweetnotes are heard here below. It sings, too, in company with myriads ofmates. Your soliloquists, Yoomy, are mostly herons and owls."

  Said Babbalanja, "Very clever, my lord; but think you not, there aremen eloquent, who never babble in the marketplace?"

  "Ay, and arrant babblers at home. In few words, Babbalanja, youespouse a bad cause. Most of you mortals are peacocks; some havingtails, and some not; those who have them will be sure to thrust theirplumes in your face; for the rest, they will display their baldcruppers, and still screech for admiration. But when a great genius isborn into Mardi, he nods, and is known."

  "More wit, but, with deference, perhaps less truth, my lord. Say whatyou will, Fame is an accident; merit a thing absolute. But whatmatter? Of what available value reputation, unless wedded to power,dentals, or place? To those who render him applause, a poet's may seema thing tangible; but to the recipient, 'tis a fantasy; the poet neverso stretches his imagination, as when striving to comprehend what itis; often, he is famous without knowing it."

  "At the sacred games of Lazella," said Yoomy, "slyly crowned frombehind with a laurel fillet, for many hours, the minstrel Jarmiwandered about ignorant of the honors he bore. But enlightened atlast, he doffed the wreath; then, holding it at arm's length, sighedforth--Oh, ye laurels! to be visible to me, ye must be removed from mybrow!"

  "And what said Botargo," cried Babbalanja, "hearing that his poems hadbeen translated into the language of the remote island of Bertranda?--'It stirs me little; already, in merry fancies, have I dreamed oftheir being trilled by the blessed houris in paradise; I can onlyimagine the same of the damsels of Bertranda.' Says Boldo, theMaterialist,--'Substances alone are satisfactory.'"

  "And so thought the mercenary poet, Zenzi," said Yoomy. "Uponreceiving fourteen ripe yams for a sonnet, one for every line, he saidto me, Yoomy, I shall make a better meal upon these, than upon so manycompliments."

  "Ay," cried Babbalanja, "'Bravos,' saith old Bardianna, but induceflatulency.'"

  Said Media, "And do you famous mortals, then, take no pleasure inhearing your bravos?"

  "Much, my good lord; at least such famous mortals, so enamored of aclamorous notoriety, as to bravo for themselves, when none else willhuzza; whose whole existence is an unintermitting consciousness ofself; whose very persons stand erect and self-sufficient as theirinfallible index, the capital letter I; who relish and comprehend noreputation but what attaches to the carcass; who would as lief berenowned for a splendid mustache, as for a splendid drama: who knownot how it was that a personage, to posterity so universallycelebrated as the poet Vavona, ever passed through the crowdunobserved; who deride the very thunder for making such a noise inMardi, and yet disdain to manifest itself to the eye."

  "Wax not so warm, Babbalanja; but tell us, if to his contemporariesVavona's person was almost unknown, what satisfaction did he derivefrom his genius?"

  "Had he not its consciousness?--an empire boundless as the West. Whatto him were huzzas? Why, my lord, from his privacy, the great and goodLogodora sent liniment to the hoarse throats without. But what saidBardianna, when they dunned him for autographs?--'Who keeps theregister of great men? who decides upon noble actions? and how longmay ink last? Alas! Fame has dropped more rolls than she displays; andthere are more lost chronicles, than the perished books of thehistorian Livella.' But what is lost forever, my lord, is nothing towhat is now unseen. There are more treasures in the bowels of theearth, than on its surface."

  "Ah! no gold," cried Yoomy, "but that comes from dark mines."

  Said Babbalanja, "Bear witness, ye gods! cries fervent old Bardianna,that besides disclosures of good and evil undreamed of now, there willbe other, and more astounding revelations hereafter, of what haspassed in Mardi unbeheld."

  "A truce to your everlasting pratings of old Bardianna," said KingMedia; why not speak your own thoughts, Babbalanja? then would yourdiscourse possess more completeness; whereas, its warp and woof are ofall sorts,--Bardianna, Alla-Malolla, Vavona, and all the writers thatever have written. Speak for yourself, mortal!"

  "May you not possibly mistake, my lord? for I do not so much quoteBardianna, as Bardianna quoted me, though he flourished before me; andno vanity, but honesty to say so. The catalogue of true thoughts isbut small; they are ubiquitous; no man's property; and unspoken, orbruited, are the same. When we hear them, why seem they so natural,receiving our spontaneous approval? why do we think we have heard thembefore? Because they but reiterate ourselves; they were in us, beforewe were born. The truest poets are but mouth-pieces; and some men areduplicates of each other; I see myself in Bardianna."

  "And there, for Oro's sake, let it rest, Babbalanja; Bardianna in you,and you in Bardianna forever!"

  CHAPTER XXIIIWhat Manner Of Men The Tapparians Were

  The canoes sailed on. But we leave them awhile. For our visit to Jiji,the last visit we made, suggests some further revelations concerningthe dental money of Mardi.

  Ere this, it should have been mentioned, that throughout theArchipelago, there was a restriction concerning incisors and molars,as ornaments for the person; none but great chiefs, brave warriors,and men distinguished by rare intellectual endowments, orators,romancers, philosophers, and poets, being permitted to sport them asjewels. Though, as it happened, among the poets there were many whohad never a tooth, save those employed at their repasts; which, comingbut seldom, their teeth almost corroded in their mouths. Hence, incommerce, poets' teeth were at a discount.

  For these reasons, then, many mortals blent with the promiscuous mobof Mardians, who, by any means, accumulated teeth, were fain to asserttheir dental claims to distinction, by clumsily carrying theirtreasures in pelican pouches slung over their shoulders; which poucheswere a huge burden to carry about, and defend. Though, in good truth,from any of these porters, it was harder to wrench his pouches, thanhis limbs. It was also a curious circumstance that at the slightestcasual touch, these bags seemed to convey a simultaneous thrill to theowners.

  Besides these porters, there were others, who exchanged their teethfor richly stained calabashes, elaborately carved canoes, and moreespecially, for costly robes, and turbans; in which last, manyoutshone the noblest-born nobles. Nevertheless, this answered not theend they had in view; some of the crowd only admiring what they wore,and not them; breaking out into laudation of the inimitable handiworkof the artisans of Mardi.

  And strange to relate, these artisans themselves often came to be menof teeth and turbans, sporting their bravery with the best. Acir
cumstance, which accounted for the fact, that many of the classabove alluded to, were considered capital judges of tappa and tailoring.

  Hence, as a general designation, the whole tribe went by the name ofTapparians; otherwise, Men of Tappa.

  Now, many moons ago, according to Braid-Beard, the Tapparians of acertain cluster of islands, seeing themselves hopelessly confoundedwith the plebeian race of mortals; such as artificers, honest men,bread-fruit bakers, and the like; seeing, in short, that nature haddenied them every inborn mark of distinction; and furthermore, thattheir external assumptions were derided by so many in Mardi, theseselfsame Tapparians, poor devils, resolved to secede from the rabble;form themselves into a community of their own; and conventionally paythat homage to each other, which universal Mardi could not beprevailed upon to render to them.

  Jointly, they purchased an island, called Pimminee, toward the extremewest of the lagoon; and thither they went; and framing a code of laws--amazingly arbitrary, considering they themselves were the framers--solemnly took the oath of allegiance to the commonwealth thusestablished. Regarded section by section, this code of laws seemedexceedingly trivial; but taken together, made a somewhat imposingaggregation of particles.

  By this code, the minutest things in life were all ordered after aspecific fashion. More especially one's dress was legislated upon, tothe last warp and woof. All girdles must be so many inches in length,and with such a number of tassels in front. For a violation of thisordinance, before the face of all Mardi, the most dutiful of sonswould cut the most affectionate of fathers.

  Now, though like all Mardi, kings and slaves included, the people ofPimminee had dead dust for grandsires, they seldom reverted to thatfact; for, like all founders of families, they had no family vaults.Nor were they much encumbered by living connections; connections, someof them appeared to have none. Like poor Logan the last of his tribe,they seemed to have monopolized the blood of their race, having nevera cousin to own.

  Wherefore it was, that many ignorant Mardians, who had not pushedtheir investigations into the science of physiology, sagely divined,that the Tapparians must have podded into life like peas, instead ofbeing otherwise indebted for their existence. Certain it is, they hada comical way of backing up their social pretensions. When therespectability of his clan was mooted, Paivai, one of their bucks,disdained all reference to the Dooms-day Book, and the ancients. Morereliable evidence was had. He referred the anxious world to a witness,still alive and hearty,--his contemporary tailor; the varlet who cutout his tappa doublets, and rejoiced his soul with good fits.

  "Ah!" sighed Babbalanja, "how it quenches in one the thought ofimmortality, to think that these Tapparians too, will hereafter claimeach a niche!"

  But we rove. Our visit to Pimminee itself, will best make known theways of its denizens.

  CHAPTER XXIVTheir Adventures Upon Landing At Pimminee

  A long sail over, the island of Pimminee came in sight; one dead fiat,wreathed in a thin, insipid vapor.

  "My lord, why land?" said Babbalanja; "no Yillah is here."

  "'Tis my humor, Babbalanja."

  Said Yoomy, "Taji would leave no isle unexplored."

  As we neared the beach, the atmosphere became still closer and morelanguid. Much did we miss the refreshing balm which breathed in thefine breezy air of the open lagoon. Of a slender and sickly growthseemed the trees; in the meadows, the grass grew small and mincing.

  Said Media, "Taji, from the accounts which Braid-Beard gives, theremust be much to amuse, in the ways of these Tapparians."

  "Yes," said Babbalanja, "their lives are a continual farce,gratuitously performed for the diversion of Mardi. My lord, perhaps wehad best doff our dignity, and land among them as persons of lowlycondition; for then, we shall receive more diversion, though lesshospitality."

  "A good proposition," said Media.

  And so saying, he put off his robe for one less pretentious.

  All followed suit; Yoomy doffing turban and sash; and, at last,completely metamorphosed, we looked like Hungarian gipsies.

  Voyaging on, we entered a bay, where numbers of menials were standingin the water, engaged in washing the carved work of certain fantasticcanoes, belonging to the Tapparians, their masters.

  Landing at some distance, we followed a path that soon conducted us toa betwisted dwelling of bamboos, where, gently, we knocked foradmittance. So doing, we were accosted by a servitor, his portlinessall in his calves. Marking our appearance, he monopolized thethreshold, and gruffly demanded what was wanted.

  "Strangers, kind sir, fatigued with travel, and in need of refreshmentand repose."

  "Then hence with ye, vagabonds!" and with an emphasis, he closed theportal in our face.

  Said Babbalanja, turning, "You perceive, my lord Media, that thesevarlets take after their masters; who feed none but the well-fed, andhouse none but the well-housed."

  "Faith! but they furnish most rare entertainment, nevertheless," criedMedia. "Ha! ha! Taji, we had missed much, had we missed Pimminee."

  As this was said, we observed, at a distance, three menials runningfrom seaward, as if conveying important intelligence.

  Halting here and there, vainly seeking admittance at otherhabitations, and receiving nothing but taunts for our pains, we stillwandered on; and at last came upon a village, toward which, those fromthe sea-side had been running.

  And now, to our surprise, we were accosted by an eager and servilethrong.

  "Obsequious varlets," said Media, "where tarry your masters?"

  "Right royal, and thrice worshipful Lord of Odo, do you take us forour domestics? We are Tapparians, may it please your illustriousHighness; your most humble and obedient servants. We beseech you,supereminent Sir, condescend to visit our habitations, and partake ofour cheer."

  Then turning upon their attendants, "Away with ye, hounds! and set ourdwellings in order."

  "How know ye me to be king?" asked Media.

  "Is it not in your serene Highness's regal port, and eye?"

  "'Twas their menials," muttered Mohi, "who from the paddlers in chargeof our canoes must have learned who my lord was, and published thetidings."

  After some further speech, Media made a social surrender of himself tothe foremost of the Tapparians, one Nimni; who, conducting us to hisabode, with much deference introduced us to a portly old Begum, andthree slender damsels; his wife and daughters.

  Soon, refreshments appeared:--green and yellow compounds, and diversenigmatical dainties; besides vegetable liqueurs of a strange andalarming flavor served in fragile little leaves, folded into cups, andvery troublesome to handle.

  Excessively thirsty, Babbalanja made bold to inquire for water; whichcalled forth a burst of horror from the old Begum, and minor shrieksfrom her daughters; who declared, that the beverage to which remotereference had been made, was far too widely diffused in Mardi, to beat all esteemed in Pimminee.

  "But though we seldom imbibe it," said the old Begum, ceremoniouslyadjusting her necklace of cowrie-shells, "we occasionally employ itfor medicinal purposes."

  "Ah, indeed?" said Babbalanja.

  "But oh! believe me; even then, we imbibe not the ordinary fluid ofthe springs and streams; but that which in afternoon showers softlydrains from our palm-trees into the little hollow or miniaturereservoir beneath its compacted roots."

  A goblet of this beverage was now handed Babbalanja; but having acurious, gummy flavor, it proved any thing but palatable.

  Presently, in came a company of young men, relatives of Nimni. Theywere slender as sky-sail-poles; standing in a row, resembled a picket-fence; and were surmounted by enormous heads of hair, combed out allround, variously dyed, and evened by being singed with a lighted wispof straw. Like milliners' parcels, they were very neatly done up;wearing redolent robes.

  "How like the woodlands they smell," whispered Yoomy. "Ay, marvelouslylike sap," said Mohi.

  One part of their garniture consisted of numerous tasseled cords, likethose of an aigulette, depending from
the neck, and attached here andthere about the person. A separate one, at a distance, united theirankles. These served to measure and graduate their movements; keepingtheir gestures, paces, and attitudes, within the prescribed standardof Tapparian gentility. When they went abroad, they were preceded bycertain footmen; who placed before them small, carved boards, whereontheir masters stepped; thus avoiding contact with the earth. Thesimple device of a shoe, as a fixture for the foot, was unknown inPimminee.

  Being told, that Taji was lately from the sun, they manifested not theslightest surprise; one of them incidentally observing, however, thatthe eclipses there, must be a sad bore to endure.

  CHAPTER XXVA, I, AND O

  The old Begum went by the euphonious appellation of Ohiro-Moldona-Fivona; a name, from its length, deemed highly genteel; though scandalaverred, that it was nothing more than her real name transposed; theappellation by which she had been formerly known, signifying a"Getterup-of-Fine-Tappa." But as this would have let out an ancientsecret, it was thought wise to disguise it.